Once upon a time there was a perfectly nice guy named Dave Carroll and his band mates on a United flight to their next gig.  Travel working in the dysfunctional way that it does in this place and time, the guys had checked their most precious possessions, their instruments.  Yep, the tools they need to do their jobs were in the capable hands of United’s finest.  If you detect a note of sarcasm there, gold star for you.

Imagine their dismay, and borderline panic, as they are sitting on the plane waiting for take-off, when a lady behind them says, “Hey look, they’re throwing guitars!”  I know, cue dramatic music, we’ve seen made for t.v. movies, we know tragedy is imminent.  Dave and company naturally made their concerns known to the flight crew who, in true 90′s SNL fashion said, “Yep, sure, okay and BUH-BYE.”

Dave picked up his checked, custom-made Taylor guitar and to no one’s surprise, found the neck had been snapped. (I know, it’s like the death of a friend, the poor guy.  Oh, and that’s not sarcasm.)  Finding his treasured instrument thus damaged, Dave did what any normal person would do, he filed a claim with United for the value of the guitar ($3500).  Dave subsequently wasted the next nine months trying to get United to make this right.  You think your cell phone company gives you the runaround? That’s nothing.  Dave never saw a dime and those are months he’ll never get back.

At last, in his final exchange with the United Customer Relations Manager Dave warned her, he was left with no choice but to create a music video detailing their complete lack of cooperation.  Her response was, “Good luck with that one, pal.”  (He mentions her by name in the video- they have a special bond.)

The power of the Internet…

So, he posted his video on YouTube.  I feel I should mention that as far as retaliatory little diddies go, the song’s not bad.  The video has since received over 11 million hits.  Can you say, “So viral, United”?  United Airlines contacted the musician and attempted a settlement in exchange for pulling the video. (Cry babies.) Naturally, his response was, “Good luck with that one, pal.”

Taylor Guitars sent Dave Carroll two new custom guitars in appreciation for the product recognition from the video that has led to a sharp increase in orders.

Dave has his music career and some lovely speaking engagements around the country.  Here’s his video, quite delightful, and, oh yeah, United can suck it.

Score one for the rest of us.  Thanks, Dave.

Thank you to my friend, Wind Up My Skirt, for throwing me into the game.

By the way, Wind Up My Skirt writes a killer blog.  The things that get her skirt all up and twisted are some of my pet peeves, too, so we’re simpatica that way.  You need to read her blog. Yes, click there.

The game, as I understand it, is simple.  You are tagged. Then you answer eleven questions.  Next you tag eleven other bloggers and ask them eleven new questions.

Here are the eleven questions Wind Up My Skirt asked the people she tagged:

1. Why did you start your blog?

I finished my first fantasy novel, but I have no published work.  The general consensus seemed to be that it would be good for my writing career to begin a blog and hopefully, develop a following (which is why you need to tell your friends, err, no pressure, guys).  It has the added benefit of giving me another form of writing.  That’s the best thing for a writer, just keep writing.

2. Who is your favorite actor/actress?

That’s hard… how about crushes? Oded Fehr, Michal Biehn, Judson Scott and Robert Taylor

3. Name your favorite band/musician?

Easy, the late, great, Ronnie James Dio

4. What is your favorite TV Show?

It fluctuates, however, at the present I’m following (more or less): Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Top Chef, Fringe and Once Upon A Time

5. Who is your favorite scientist?

Jane Goodall

6. Name your favorite author?

Are you flipping kidding me?  Talk about your Herculean task!  Off the top of my head I’d say: David Eddings, Jim Butcher, J.R.R. Tolkien, Anne McCaffrey, Jane Austin, Katherine Kurtz, Barbara Hambly and Geraldine Brooks.  That’s just the tip of the iceberg though.

7. What do you do with your free time when you are not online?

I like running, spending time with friends and family, cooking, writing and crafting.  I also love to garden and a hot bubble bath is a rare, but beloved, indulgence.

8. If you had to live in another country, which country would you choose and why?

I haven’t traveled as much as I would like to, but I could be very happy in Italy, specifically Florence.  The food is amazing, the people are adorable, the weather is very similar to California, you are surrounded by art and history.  What’s not to love?

9. What three words best describe you?

Inquisitive, friendly and loud…ish

10. What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

I usually try to eat healthy, but oh man, I sure love some loaded potato skins with ranch dressing to dip.  YUM!

11. If you were throwing a dinner party, and could invite any 10 people (living or dead) who would you invite?

Okay, let’s see, obviously, I’d want all my friends and family, but if we’re just talking personalities I’d love to meet:

Ronnie James Dio

Richard III

Ellen DeGeneres

Madeline L’Engle

Priscilla “Petie” Snow (A dear friend of mine, though thirty years older than me.  She passed away four years ago and I miss her so.  She was lovely in all types of company.)

Walter Cronkite

Jacques Cousteau

Chief Joseph (Nez Perce Nation)

Pat Benatar

Boudica (She’d have to check her sword at the door, of course.)

Okay, so if I’m doing this right I need to come up with eleven questions of my own for my tag-ees.  (I think that’s a word.)  Here’s what I’m asking them:

1.)  What is your favorite quote?

2.)  What is your first memory?

3.)  If you could have any dish cooked by anyone in the world (living or dead), what would you have and who would prepare it for you?

4.)  What languages do you speak?  What language would you most like to learn?

5.)  Do you have any pet peeves?  What are they?

6.)  Name one thing you like about yourself.

7.)  If I handed you $1000 (American) right now, how would you spend it? No fair saving it!

8.)  What is your favorite song?

9.)  Do you play any musical instruments?

10.)  What is your favorite piece of poetry?

11.)  Name your favorite season and why.

Now it’s my turn to pass the fun on to eleven lucky bloggers!  Here is who I chose (be sure to check out their blogs!):

Journey of Two

Sunny Spells

Cadmefoghlamthainniu

The Many Facets of Laura

Wendy Spinale

Happiness Stan Lives Here

ByKimberlyEmerson

Talinorfali

CandidlySpeaking

Northierthanthou

Vikram Roy

Tag, Ladies and Gents!  You’re it!

What do I do with him once I catch him???

Okay, to be fair, I do jump around a great deal. 

Where was I? Right, since the theme of this blog is a peek inside my head, we really need a music section.  I need to do something with books, too, as I read like a voracious carnivore, but I’ll fall off that bridge on another day.  Anyhow, I had a good friend suggest that I do something with music in addition to my usual rants.

Ergo, Musical Mondays.  Spoiler alert. I make no pretensions as to timeliness… so they might not be on Mondays.  AND I can’t promise new music.  You’ll just get whatever I happen to be running to at that particular time, on that particular day.  Please send me your picks!

So, just punting and seeing where this goes…

Let me introduce you all to Black Country Communion.  BCC meet everyone, well, at least, MY everyone.  BCC was created in 2010 with their first album, Black Country.  They have since released a second album in 2011 entitled “2″.  Black Country Communion are a “super group” although outside their genre the “super” members may not be super well-known.  So, I’ll introduce them, shall I?  Everything is better among friends.

BCC is Derek Sherinian, formerly keyboardist for prog rock favorite, Dream Theater.  On guitar BCC boasts Joe Bonamassa who is a successful blues/rock guitarist with eleven solo records to his credit.  Drums are masterfully handled by Jason Bonham, formerly of UFO, Foreigner, his own group Bonham, and, for six blissful weeks, Led Zeppelin.  Lastly, on bass and lead vocals, we have Glenn “The Voice of Rock” Hughes who honestly, I think, knows everyone in classic hard rock and heavy metal… and beyond.  Most notably Hughes has played with Deep Purple and Black Sabbath, but he’s had more “projects’ than you can shake a stick at: Joe Lynn Turner, Tommi Iommi, Night Ranger, Pat Travers, hey, he even played with XYZ.

This is the band’s self-promotional YouTube commercial, mind you, VERY few artists get the kind of back up that once was customary, you know, video, press tour, whatever, it’s all gone now.  You want to sell albums?  Get out on tour and hustle.

You like that bit about “out of the Black Country they came?” That refers to the section of England Hughes and Bonham hail from.  It’s industrial and dark. Sherinian and Bonamassa are Yanks, so you pro-American types can be happy, too.  See, something for everyone.

I love both BCC albums.  In the interests of continuity, I’m focusing on the first album, but “2″ rocks, too. (No pun intended there.)  I love to run to “One Last Soul” and Bonamassa surprised me with his lead vocals on “Song of Yesterday”.  Incidentally, Jason Bonham does Bonzo proud on the second half of that song; the drums are thundering, in a good way.  Frankly, I’m so used to Hughes as an awesome vocalist I sometimes forget, he’s a hell of a bassist.  BCC splits the line between hard rock and blues.  They are not what I would call heavy metal.  They are no harder than say a Van Halen (in the Sammie days) or a Nickelback.  If Nickelback can be tearing up the charts, I honestly can’t understand why Black Country Communion should be left out of the game.  They have far superior musicianship, catchier riffs and hey, as the wise woman once said, “they rock!”

Here’s “One Last Soul” from the album Black Country (this is NOT to sell “2″  short, I’m just going in order).  Good stuff!

Incidentally, go to Black Country Communion’s website for a free song download and get your BCC library started!

Hope it makes your iPod and I’m looking forward to what you can introduce me to from your library.  Though I drift to hard rock, I listen to all types of music, so do not rule anything out thinking I wouldn’t like it.

Make it a great week, my friends.  

P.S.  11:56pm, but still Monday!

This past week saw the coming and going of another Valentine’s Day.  My honey was out-of-town, but it’s okay, because ultimately our relationship is real while Valentine’s Day is fake.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  Just because it’s a made up holiday doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy roses, a romantic evening and a love letter or two as much as the next girl.   Hallmark may have promoted an illusion, however, then the illusion took on a life of its own.

From a starting point of “fake stuff”, it was a small step for this post to get to politics.  It’s an election year here in America.  More specifically, it’s a presidential election year.  Before the year ends we’ll be drowning in flyers, commercials, campaign phone calls and debates.  Some candidates have already been running for the last year and a half.  It’s a long, tedious, heart-breaking, mind-numbing process.  I hear it’s rough on the candidates, too.  Thankfully, I live in California, a state that has voted solidly “blue” since Bill Clinton in 1992.  I pity those poor souls in the so-called “Battle Ground” states.

Election years mean a lot of speeches.  Speeches most candidates hire professional speech writers to write for them, thus rendering every “I” statement fake.  These paid for outpourings of promises they don’t intend to keep also include a staggering number of clichés.  Some politicians have the money for  better speech writers than others, but in the end there are certain themes that come up again and again, things held sacred in the United States.  Well, some people hold them sacred.

This got me thinking about America and topics that get people misty-eyed.  Things like apple pie, the Pledge of Allegiance and “In God We Trust”.  Where did these hallowed pieces of Americana originate?  Imagine my surprise upon discovering the answer was simple.  Someone made them up.  I cry “Shenanigans! (What? It worked on South Park.)

Let’s start with the basics, apple pie.  Throughout most of our history, apple pie was not any more popular or American than any other dessert item.  Apple pies were baked and enjoyed, of course, but so were cherry, pumpkin and a number of other varieties.  We can blame apple pie’s current preeminence on Prohibition.  At the time of Prohibition the United States was the world’s largest grower of apples.  These apples were primarily used in the making of hard cider.  Once hard cider became a no-no, farmers had a whole lot of apples to hawk.  In an effort to raise the popularity of apples, a marketing campaign was launched.  Such old sayings such as, “an apple a day, keeps the doctor away” and “the apple of my eye” were revived.  The apple pie was promoted in women’s magazines and daily newspapers as the most delicious dessert to be had, as well as a patriotic recipe to serve. Let’s be fair, the pie is delicious and what’s more American than good product placement, right?

"As American as apple pie"

Next we have the Pledge of Allegiance.  It can inspire even the crustiest of individuals to have a sentimental moment.  (Sorry, I still have pie on my mind.)  The Pledge was written in 1892 by Francis Bellamy for the magazine The Youth’s Companion at the request of  his editor, James Upham.  In order to sell more magazine subscriptions the Companion used an incentive program for its readers called premiums.  Premiums are basically the same idea as when you get your husband his subscription to Sports Illustrated and they send you that blasted football phone (Woo…. wait for it… hoo.)  I’m oversimplifying again.  More accurately, premiums are what you would get if the football phone and the old-time Sears Roebuck dry goods catalog had a love child.  The magazine had a sort of side business with a catalog of dry goods that readers could purchase.  They sold everything from hens to church bells, from moccasins to furniture.  New subscribers and renewing readers would also receive free goodies out of the catalog.  Between 1888-1892 Upham launched a campaign he called his School Flag Movement combining the goal of selling more flags with the more laudable aim to raise patriotism among America’s youth by promoting a flag for every school.  Besides the Pledge, Upham also included essay contests on the flag, “spirited literature” and children could even buy “flag cards” for ten cents apiece.  These cards, once you had enough of them, could be redeemed for a school flag.  This campaign sold twenty-five thousand flags just to schools.  Amazing to think that a ploy to sell magazines and flags would eventually inspire such passionate feelings that after Congress added the words “under God” in the 1950′s we’d end up STILL arguing over it.  Oh, and there’s a postscript that conservatives should just adore; Bellamy was a Christian Socialist.  Yep, he really was a socialist and he really wrote the pledge.  I find that a lovely irony.

Have you bought your own flag yet? All the cool kids are doing it.

The last one is my personal favorite.  Probably because so many arguments point to it as proof that America was founded as a Christian nation.  (Me?  I’ll stand behind the whole separation of church and state. ) Point of fact, the Framers were amazingly specific in their design to keep religion and politics separate, and if you’ve been watching the news this past week or two, you’ll see excellent examples of why.  Second point of fact, don’t point to our current motto “In God We Trust” as proof the Framers wanted America to be a fundamentally Christian nation.  The motto our Founders actually chose (and is on our Great Seal) was E Pluribus Unum.  I think the translation is absolutely beautiful, especially considering the fractured state of the colonies who had just hung on together through the Revolutionary War to emerge as a young nation.  It means “Of Many We Are One” or “One From Many”.

What the Founders Chose For Us

“In God We Trust” was implemented in 1956 as a response to the Cold War.  Congress and the Federal government were at the height of the Red Scare and McCarthyism ran rampant.  Proponents of the change wanted to delineate the Western capitalistic democracies, which were at least nominally Christian from the Communist countries who embraced Atheism.  This was beyond product placement.  It was our way of trumpeting how cool our entire capitalist system was.  At least they didn’t insist on which God we trust, meaning it works for us Pastafarians, too.

In the end, one is left to wonder if it matters how things like Valentine’s Day or the Pledge of Allegiance got popularized or why they were started.  I mean, the reality lies in how we view and revere these things today, not in how many cider apple farmers we needed to bail out in the 1920′s.  Of course, it does make it that much easier to take every politician’s speeches with an even larger grain of salt, and that’s goes for both sides of the aisle.  One person’s patriotism is another’s marketing plan.  So, like Valentine’s Day or Grandparents’ Day, they are essentially fake but these pieces of Americana have transcended their beginnings to become something larger and far more worthwhile, sort of like a ragged bunch of colonies a few hundred years back that grew into the greatest nation of our time.

E Pluribus Unum, my friends.

I shall hold off calling "Shenanigans" for now.

There are times when the Internet, and the world in general, can seem like a dark and lonely place.  It’s filled with perverts and rip-offs and porn. Oh my!  (It’s important that you say those last two sentences a la Wizard of Oz, “Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!”  It’s just more fun that way.) No seriously, we warn our children about the dangers of the Internet, we send warnings to our friends (the ones with PC’s, anyway) cautioning them against opening emails with the virus du jour and shake our heads over Facebook’s latest change and how it affects our privacy.  (Then we proceed to post every detail of our day. Hmm.) However, I’m talking about the kind of cyber activity that gives me the warm fuzzies.

Perverts and rip-offs and porn! Oh My!

These past couple of years and especially the last two weeks have me looking at the Internet with fresh eyes.  There’s a whole lot of good going on here. (Now, you can hum along with the tune of Herman’s Hermits “I’m Into Something Good”. ) Some of the things that are making me sit up and take notice are little things important only to me, some are germane locally, while others have seriously been newsworthy.  (When I typed that last bit, the term “Sponge-worthy” floated through my brain.  Spontaneous giggles ensued.)  You all know I am profoundly grateful for the old friends the Web has brought back into my life and  I use many web-based applications to stay in contact with all my favorite peeps. The amazing thing is I’m not just keeping up with current friends, I’m actually making new ones.

It’s a little weird, but there are people  I’ve only met through email or blogging and I now consider them friends.  A case in point is my fellow blogger, Jessica.  She blogs on a variety of fun subjects.  I never know what she’ll post on: recipes, hip new products, a movie or book review.  She makes me feel so caught up.  You should check her out.  We’ve start emailing back and forth beyond the blogs and supporting each other’s efforts.  It’s been very cool.  Then there are bloggers I follow and who visit my blog from India, Great Britain, Israel and Canada, among other places.  It makes the world seem so small and friendly.

There is the whole library aspect of the web.  I can be writing and need a synonym, a definition or a quotation and it is quite literally at my fingertips.  The research that once upon a time would have involved precious hours is now reduced to a quick trip down Cyber Google Lane.  While I still do some research the old-fashioned way, they’re called books, children,  I can do a lot of the heavy lifting from my computer.  Doing research from my laptop has the added bonus of working with my schedule (quite often in the wee hours of the night) as opposed to say the public library’s more limiting hours, what with budget cuts and all.

I get a great deal of my news from online as well.  Seems everywhere I turn there are interesting articles or informative videos to peruse.  Yes, one does need to mindful that one does not allow one’s entire day to sucked away by the siren song of the computer.  All things in moderation, right?  I also love that the news can be and frequently is targeted just for me.  (You mean, you made this whole Internet, just for little ol’ me? Aw, shucks, you shouldn’t have.)  For example, I can go to my local Pleasanton Patch online newspaper and find out what’s happening in my neck of the woods.  You probably have one in your area if you are in the U.S.. The Patch will tell me what’s happening with local events, community needs, city issues, my friend Cameron even writes on our schools.

More than friends and social niceties, information and news, the last few months culminating in the past two weeks have been very illuminating in terms of what the Internet can do.  First, we watched in amazement at the Internet coordinated and driven revolution in Egypt and marveled at the impact social networking is making throughout the Middle East.  Then at home, there was SOPA and PIPA which had everyone online in an uproar (and rightly so).  These two innocent sounding acronyms inspired the now famous Internet blackout of January 18th and a blog rant by yours truly.  For now these bills have been shelved.  Apparently things just got too hot in Washington.  (Everyone, remember the words to “Hot in the City” by Billy Idol?  Sorry, this is rapidly becoming a sing along blog.)  I’m sure it was my piece that made the difference, right? Okay, maybe not.

Still, even with the whole SOPA/PIPA extravaganza, last week’s Komengate surprised me.  It took just one news cycle and Komen was back pedaling.  Which is good, because I thought they were flipping out of their collective pink minds.  Where do they think women without health coverage go for care of the female persuasion?  I mean, that’s where I went for annual exams, birth control and the occasional girl problem (don’t worry, male readers, I’ll spare you the gory details) in my twenties.  Those were the years when I was off my parents’ insurance but hadn’t quite gotten a good enough job to have my own.  Come to think of it, even when I had insurance it didn’t cover women’s care very well.  I still had to turn to Planned Parenthood.  They were a lifesaver.

In these days of unlimited campaign spending (gosh, thanks, Supreme Court) and aggressively active PAC’s, are we finding there might actually be an avenue to get the voice of the people through?  That there may be a way we can react quickly enough, disseminate information in such a way as to shine a light on our issues and our needs?  Do the people have a bullhorn, cyberly speaking?  Goodness, I don’t know, that makes me positively, well, hopeful.

A warmer, fuzzier Internet?  I dig it.

“The Internet is like alcohol in some sense.  It accentuates what you would do anyway.  If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone.  If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.”  ~Esther Dyson

To begin let’s simultaneously review and encourage. I hope that you are gaining wine confidence.  Have faith in your opinions, loosen up and enjoy the wine.  Never worry about what some expert tells you on how wrong you are.  You like the wine? Great, you aren’t wrong.  Is everyone in their wine tasting happy place?  That’s enough review, moving right along then.

Smell is inextricably tied to our sense of taste.  We taste what we smell.  The two senses are deeply entwined.

Okay, how about some friendly, practical advice on smelling your wine?

Step 1:  You’ll need some wine.

Step 2:  Do you have your drinking buddy?  Everyone needs a drinking buddy… and money for cab fare.

Step 3:  Pour the wine and swirl.  (For a review on this check my “Tastes Like Street” post) Extra points if you swirl without sloshing that nice person on your left.  The guy on your right had it coming.

Step 4:  As you finish swirling bring the glass up, stick your nose into the bowl and inhale.  Really get a good whiff.  (The human nose fatigues after about six seconds, so don’t go nuts.  Just one good whiff or people will turn and stare.)  Some people like a couple quick sniffs, but I’m a fan of the one deep breath.

Smelling Your Wine- What it looks like

Step 5:  Let your mind sort of wander as you process what you are smelling.  Is it like a forest (woodsy), maybe fruity?  Does it make you think of a garden?  If you aren’t sure wait a moment and then try again.

Step 6: Proceed with the drinking.

See how easy that was?  Next, a few do’s and don’t's with smelling your wine.  First, if you are going wine tasting it’s best not to wear a strong cologne or perfume.  These will compete with the wine and can affect how it tastes to you.  Second, likewise if you are in a restaurant or your kitchen and someone is cooking an aromatic sauce or fish or whatever, you probably aren’t going to get the aromas you expected out of your wine.  There’s just too much competition around.  Third, you may be standing next to someone who’s picking out five or six different aromas on the same glass of wine that you are holding.  And here you were so proud to have picked up one scent.  Don’t worry.  Everyone has a different nose; yours isn’t broken.  Feel free to practice.  When you are at the farmer’s market or cooking, smell the ingredients.  Build up a scent Rolodex in your head that you can pull from when you are wine tasting to identify and describe what you are smelling.

Side bar here: for those of you kids out there, a “Rolodex” was a little file that you kept phone numbers and contacts in before the days of your iPhone contact list.  It was actually on paper.  I know, archaic, but true.

Becoming more aware of the smells in your wine can help you know whether a wine is good or bad before you even taste it.  I recently read a very handy piece on the Huffington Post regarding the six smells you do NOT want in your wine.  Just click here to check it out for yourself.

For instance, if you smell wet dog or musty sheets you may have a wine that is “corked”.  There is a naturally occurring bacteria called TCA which may contaminate wine.  Too much of this and it ruins the wine.  Other smells which are red flags are rotten eggs or the smell of a freshly lit match.  These odors may indicate improper storage or spoiled wine.

Here are some good smells to look for and some bad ones to run screaming from (figuratively). Remember, this list isn’t everything, just a place to help you get started.

Aromas to look for and some to avoid

As always, there’s the vocabulary section. What? It’s true.  Stop complaining, I don’t make this stuff up; I simply relay it to you.  Talk to someone in charge.  Where was I?  Right, vocab time.  Luckily for you, it’s a short list.  When you are discussing wine it’s actually not a good idea to use the word “smell”.  This is because “smell” and “odor” are deemed to lend a negative connotation while words like “aroma” and “nose” offer up a more positive spin.  What about “bouquet” you ask?  Well, technically it is interchangeable for “aroma” in most wine tasting circles but it is a little old-fashioned.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?  It’s the weekend, so you’ll have to ask that guy on your right.  You need to settle his dry cleaning bill anyway.  Me? Oh, I’m off to find a glass of wine.  All this typing has made me thirsty!

“Drink wine, and you will sleep well.  Sleep, and you will not sin.  Avoid sin, and you will be saved.  Ergo, drink wine and be saved.”
  – Medieval German saying

I use Facebook a fair amount.  I say “fair amount”, my better half would probably characterize that as a lot.  As per often, I disagree.  I’d say I go in spurts.  A couple of times a week I’ll post three or four things in a day, then I won’t post for a few days.  I do make a point to spend a few minutes on Facebook each day.  I like seeing what my friends are doing.  And when I say “friends” I really mean friends.  If I haven’t actually met you then I don’t accept your friend request.  It’s nothing personal; I’m just funny that way.  I won’t “like” a page either unless it’s something that I actually know and like.

So when I go on Facebook it really is to catch up on friends, especially those that are far away.  It’s wonderful that in a few clicks I can see what Sarah-from-college’s daughter Sheridan is up to, I can laugh at what funny status my friend Kathryn posted this time and don’t get me started on Caroline’s hilarious pictures and cartoons.  Not to mention, I love seeing photos of everyone’s kids and vacations.  It makes you seem closer.  I miss you, guys.

The other day I posted a little blurb on Newt Gingrich.  It pictured Newt (not a bad shot either) and then under it read, “Family Values- Using daughters from your first wife to convince everyone that your second wife is lying about your third wife”.  I know, funny, right?  I was looking at it as the photo equivalent of a political cartoon.  It makes an observation.  It expresses a point of view.  To me being able to express one’s self is a classic hallmark of American society.  I can post this about a presidential candidate and still sleep soundly at night knowing that I won’t be hauled off by the secret police in the wee hours of the morning.  Neither will my family.  That’s an amazing, wonderful thing about this country.

Two of my Facebook friends got into a commenting match with each other.  You’ve all seen them.  It happens.  I’ve entered the fray a few times myself on things that struck me.  Frankly, I like when this happens.  It is always nice to see people stretch their brains.  I mean, that’s what they are there for, brains, that is, to be used.  Naturally, as today we live in a society of polarizing forces, my friends came at the topic from widely divergent points of view.

Though I know they publicly posted using their real names, and even photos, and so aren’t ashamed of their opinions, they are not YOUR Facebook friends.  Ergo, to protect the innocent, let’s give them aliases.  One friend came from a very liberal slant, similar to myself.  Let’s call her, Libby the Liberal.  The other friend came from a more conservative, republican point of view.  We’ll name her, Connie the Conservative.  Okay, everyone still with me?  Excellent.  Let’s get down to brass tacks.

Connie commented on my post that we had previously had an adulterous president but that he had still been supported.  To which Libby replied this was true but that Clinton hadn’t run on a platform including protecting “traditional marriage” or “family values”.  Libby went on to say that you could be a real lying, cheating S.O.B. yet still be qualified to be president.  Her language was more colorful that what I’ve used here.  Connie came back to that with a post agreeing Clinton had been elected “without a stand on values” and wasn’t it nice to have a civil conversation.  I’m pretty sure that last bit was sarcasm, what do you think?  Libby came back with several posts that apologized for any offense her salty talk might have caused and proceeded to eloquently outline some of her frustrations with the conservative wing of our political parties and her perception of the hypocrisies therein.  I’m paraphrasing, of course.

Which brings us mostly current to today’s blog post.  I say “mostly”, I’ll explain in a bit.  There’s a status update.

Here’s the thing.  I find Libby and Connie to be amazingly representative of the divide that exists in this country.  Quite frankly, it’s a situation doing great harm to our nation.

Much of America is divided into two primary groups.  When I Googled the definitions for Conservative and Liberal, this is what I got.

con·serv·a·tive/kənˈsərvətiv/

Adjective:  Holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in politics or religion.

Noun:  A person who is averse to change and holds to traditional values and attitudes, typically in politics.

Synonyms:  traditional, orthodox, unchanging, stable, inflexible

lib·er·al/ˈlib(ə)rəl/

Adjective:  Open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values.

Noun:  A person of liberal views.

Synonyms:  generous, bounteous, lavish, bountiful, free

To be fair I should mention initially the only synonym I could find for “conservative” was Tory.  I had to search again to find the ones that I used.  And before anyone starts shouting about my liberal bias let me just say: 1.) You bet your ass I’m biased, and so are you.  Everyone is. 2.) I rejected many really ugly synonyms.  You don’t believe me? Just Google the word yourself.

Back to our friends Connie & Libby and how they are symptomatic of America today.

These two women have an enormous amount in common, and not just that they are both friends with me.  For starters I would wager both of these women would describe family as one of their top priorities. Both of them are happily married.  Both are devoted mothers- good mothers.  Both are extremely articulate and intelligent.  Both have what I would call successful careers.  Funny factoid, I met both of these women through my former life in Stampin’ Up! (before you ask, yes, I am still a demonstrator, it’s not my top focus these days).  Connie led a business builders Yahoo site for about twelve of us all trying to take our teams to the next level.  It helped me.  At one point I was the #23 Demonstrator of the Year.  Girlfriend Connie knows her stuff.  Libby was a mutual friend of a college friend and I met her as one of my customers.  So, they’re both crafty and artistic.  Told you they were a lot alike.  Both are educated.  Libby has her PhD. I don’t know Connie’s level of education but based on her intelligence and writing ability I’d say she has some college if not an actual four-year degree.   Oh yeah, one more thing, both love their country deeply.

The differences?  Well, those are small, yet profound.  Libby is an atheist.  While Connie is a devout Christian.  I’m guessing Born Again or Evangelical, but we’ve never formally discussed it.  (This is based on her FB posts.)  Clearly, Libby is a democrat and Connie is a republican.  One is for gay marriage, the other against.  One believes abortion should be safe and legal, the other does not.  One believes in a smaller government and the other believes in a smaller government.

Whoa, those of you paying attention just blinked and scratched your head.  Gold star for you- that was not a type-o!  Yep, turns out conservatives and liberals BOTH want smaller government. We just want it in different ways.  We also want control, but over different things.  Finally, we both trust people to be able to make their own decisions, but again, you guessed it, on different topics.

For example, conservatives would like smaller government in regards to funding of government programs and regulation of businesses and corporations.  They would especially like lower taxes on businesses.  They reason, correctly, many government programs are bloated and in need of an overhaul and audit.  Trimmer programs would mean less expense which would lead in turn to lower taxes. They also reason that less regulation would allow businesses to innovate.  This combined with lower taxes would allow companies to expand, thus creating jobs.  They believe that people could do a better job deciding how to spend their tax dollars than the federal government does.  Many government programs, they reason, are full of lazy free loaders who are taking advantage of the system.  Private charities and churches should be trusted with many of the needs of the deserving poor.  Conservatives argue that we should trust in the haves to take care of the have-nots.  We should trust in businesses to make decisions that would build the economy and increase jobs.  I am over simplifying, but hey, this is just a blog post.

Okay, so far, so good.  I get the reasoning.  I really do.

On the other side of the aisle are the liberals.  They too, would like smaller government.  They would like government out of their uteruses, out of their bedrooms and out of their homes. Sexual practices like oral and anal sex are no one’s business but the consenting adults involved. They believe people can do a better job deciding how to make love to their partner in life and, more importantly, who to choose as that partner.  They believe people can do a better job deciding how to spend the days of their lives than the lawmakers can.  It is not the government’s job to regulate a person’s morality based on one section of the population’s opinion.  Liberals want government out of the church business, too.  If you read the Framers’ writings, it’s pretty clear.  Those guys were a radical bunch.  They were serious about the whole separation of church and state.  So are liberals.  No prayer in schools, no creationism (or Intelligent Design) in science classrooms (I’ve got my eye on you, Kansas City School Board) and no Ten Commandments in front of courthouses. (That last one is mostly because I live in fear of #10.  I always wanted a pony and it specifically says not to covet your neighbor’s donkey.  They’re pretty close.)  Again, I am over simplifying but it’s still just a blog post.  Albeit, one of my longer ones.

Conservatives say we should trust businesses, the “job-creators”, to do what is best for the economy.  Liberals know that businesses don’t work for the betterment of America, they work for profit and profit will always win.  Conservatives say we should cut funding of public programs.  Yes, there is bloat and waste and even free loaders but liberals still believe that government does have a role to play in the assistance of citizens who have fallen on hard times.  Liberals do not trust the haves to care for the have-nots.  I don’t know, blame it on education, we’ve learned too much history.

I am deliberately leaving off the whole Newt debacle.  If he becomes the nominee, my blog will be all too easy.  It’s written: the family values, the hypocrisy, the affairs (plural), the leaving of the wives (please note plural, again), the 84 ethics violation charges and more, so much more.  You want him as your nominee?  Go ahead, I double dog dare you.

So here we are, at an impasse.  Two sides of a coin and never the twain shall meet.  Is there a way clear?

Of course there is, there always is.  The biggest thing is to keep talking.  Things get rough, don’t yell, take a deep breath.  Then try again.  As I outlined above Libby and Connie have a lot in common.  Actually they have more in common than they do apart.  So do Liberals and Conservatives.  Obviously, we are unified by three main things: our distrust in government to make the big decisions, our love of this country and our shared humanity and belief in the basic goodness of people.  Hey, look, that’s actually four things!

You keep talking.  Maybe we can’t change Washington overnight but we can get to know and value one another.  Start at the local level.  Maybe you begin humbly, voter registration, get more people involved in the process.  Or maybe efforts to welcome home and reacclimate returning veterans.  We all want to see them valued for their sacrifice and return to happy, fulfilling lives.  Maybe there’s something environmental, I value clean air and water for my children.  I figure Evangelicals have to value the earth if they believe that God created and touched everything in it.  How can they then simply trash His work?

Most of all, we forgive and move forward.  We keep looking for points of common ground.  We keep looking for compromise, for opportunities to do real good.  Liberals and conservatives may not see the world the same way but we have a country to run, children to raise and a tomorrow to see to.  We don’t have the luxury of being petty or small.

I promised you a Facebook status.  Libby is still my friend but Connie “de-friended” me although I had no part in the dialogue.  I am sad to see her go but still, there’s a conversation to be had, children to raise and a tomorrow to see to.

You fear change, Connie?  You fear the different?  The unknown?  Honey, life is change.  Life is the unknown.  Go out and try to tell the tide to stop if you like, but get out of my way.  I have work to do.  The world moves on and thinking you can keep things “the way they used to be” has never and will never happen.

Can you spot the liberal and the conservative? Yeah, me neither. Keep talking, ladies.

For the giggle factor I just had to include the info I found regarding sodomy laws- priceless… hmmm, a bit sad.  Let me explain, folks, most “sodomy laws” actually include, amongst other things, provisions outlawing oral sex.  Not oral sex, say, in public, oral sex at all.  And before you cosmopolitan types get too smug and say, “Sure in North Carolina, Indiana, Georgia, but not here”. ( No offense to those states, although hey, you do still have the laws.) You might be surprised, fourteen states have yet to turn over existing sodomy laws.  And then are the stupid laws that are just a waste of government time and energy. What if I said in Virginia you can’t have sex during the daytime, with a light on, or with socks on?  In Florida, the only legal sexual position is the missionary position (I couldn’t find out if woman on top is allowed, but I have my suspicions).  In Arizona it is illegal to have more than two dildos in a home.  Drat, there go the Pleasure Parties.  In California it is illegal for animals to mate within 1500 feet of a tavern, place of worship or a school.  Hmm, I’m pretty sure no one told the squirrels.  In Pennsylvania it is illegal to have over sixteen women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However, up to one hundred twenty men can live together, without breaking the law.  Thank The Flying Spaghetti Monster for 2003′s Lawrence v. Texas.  We’re slowly, state by state, undoing these ridiculous laws.

For more information: Join the celebration and click here

Congratulations and drinks all around… NICE that they were thoughtful enough to make this decision on a weekend.

Not to be the Cassandra of the bunch, but you DO realize this will be tried again and NEXT time they’ll be much more sneaky (they say savvy, I say sneaky).

Well, since we’re going to party, I better get cracking on my next wine blog, right?

Have a great weekend, all. Nice job.

It’s interesting, isn’t it?  How the Internet can change and mold our lives?  One day you can see a reference to something, the equivalent of an electronic whisper  and suddenly BAM! It becomes part of your life.  The Web has brought us such gifts as (in some cases ones we’d prefer to take back) : Justin Bieber, eBay, Paypal (all the better to take your money, my pretty) and World of Warcraft.

I jumped into the SOPA foray only knowing a little about the topic and had my site blacked out yesterday like the good little freedom of speech supporter that I am.  Today I sat down at my computer and decided to dive deeper.

So, what is the Senate’s SOPA bill and its more perkily monikered House’s little sister, PIPA?

I wondered if the issue would become more gray, you know, have some concrete pro’s and con’s.  Often times one hears one side of the story and gets really gung-ho over voting someone off the island and then on closer examination one finds out they were just “edited to look evil”.

Let me reassure you so you can sleep tonight, this isn’t one of those times.

On the face of things, SOPA is a very good idea.  Pirates are stealing copyrighted material and intellectual property.  As a writer I am very in favor of people being compensated for the work they do.  In fact, I enthusiastically encourage it.  The argument that jobs need to be protected, market values maintained and revenue sheltered is also a cogent one. It seems eminently reasonable when there is theft occurring for someone in charge to decide to put a stop to it.

This is where we jump the track from a good idea to your proverbial hot mess.

The bill (specifically SOPA) operates on the idea that in order to deal with pirates, bit torrents and pharmaceutical knock-offs, who are primarily based in other countries and, ergo, beyond the practical reach of our federal government, one needs to remove them from two things: money and users.  The bill would ban advertising networks from using and, more importantly, paying infringing sites.  In theory this would cut the offending sites off from their revenue streams.

The bill would also give media content owners the right to block the domain names of any infringing site.  That means the site would still exist but search engines would no longer list the site and when you typed in the domain name your ISP (Internet Service Provider) would no longer bring it up for you.

In this case the law also specifies for the criminalization of content/intellectual property infringers and is punishable with up to five years in prison per count. That one might be harder to directly go after the offending sites if the site owner is over seas.

The bill gets in trouble for two basic reasons.  It seems that the authors did not think through the collateral damage.  This would be all the ways the law can be abused that its authors did not anticipate. (Or perhaps they did, who knows?) The second reason is that as the bill is currently written it won’t work.  It’s going to hurt American users and internet businesses far more than any damage it would do to the original pirates for whom the law was written.

The first problem is this whole blacklisting of infringing sites.  As soon as the site is accused of infringement, the site is eligible to be blacklisted and subsequently blocked.  This would be before any violation has been proven and through the blocking of the site to its users and its revenues the site owners would lose their best avenues of defending themselves from the charges.  The blocking does not require a court order. Payment processors or content providers like Visa or YouTube don’t even need a letter to shut off a site’s resources. The lack of due process is alarming to say the least.

The reason so many smaller internet users, like myself, are concerned over SOPA has to do with this domain name blocking.  For instance, if someone using a WordPress blog were to be blocked for infringement and they had the word “wordpress” in their domain name then all other WordPress users with the word “wordpress” in their sites’ names would also be blocked.  Likewise with Blogspot or any of the other blogging sites.  Even individuals in direct sales (Stampin’ Up!, Mary Kay, Cookie Lee, Tuperware, etc.) with company websites would be affected.  If one of their fellow consultants or the parent company was accused and had their site blocked then all sites with similar roots to their domain names would share that fate.  It could become very widespread, very quickly. ( Mind you, I’ve purchased my domain name so I don’t have WordPress in my address anymore but still, the point remains.)

There are many sites on the Web that are a conglomeration of smaller users.  For example Flicker in photos, Vimeo in user made videos and Etsy in home-made crafts.  If a few of their users or even only one were to be guilty, or just accused, of infringement it could effectively put the whole site out of business.

The next problem is  we human beings are awfully frail creatures and easily led into temptation.  In today’s media world we have just a few companies that control an awful lot of the media content: movies, music, all of our news and this bleeds into the Web.  For example I found this scenario laid out on the Huffington Post’s website:

“Google could easily take it upon itself to delist every viral video site on the internet with a “good faith belief” that they’re hosting copyrighted material. Leaving YouTube as the only major video portal … Comcast (an ISP) owns NBC (a content provider). Think they might have an interest in shuttering some rival domains? Under SOPA, they can do it without even asking for permission.”

Sites that do not necessarily infringe on copyrights but instead provide “A reasonable threat to established American corporations” would also be under siege.  For example, say you’d like to sell your tires on Craig’s List but Goodrich is concerned that this interferes  with their business model.  They can shut down Craig’s List.

Next we look at Twitter, Facebook, all the social networking sites out there.  Suppose you referenced a joke or one liner from a television show or popular movie, or you put up a picture or video from your favorite band? Or if you tweeted, your blog posts, a site indexed by Google, whatever, pick your flavor.  If you don’t have the proper authorization Facebook, or whichever site, would be legally obligated to take it down.

Or let’s say you figured out a clever way to get around SOPA- yea you!  So naturally, you decide to tell your friends how to do it,too.  SOPA has an “anti-circumvention” clause.  Even if what you posted doesn’t violate any copyrights, if you are telling people how to get around SOPA then it is considered legally to be just as bad. Again, Facebook or whoever would have to take it down.  If they did not they  would be subject to a government “enjoinment” and would be shut down.  All of these sites would have to monitor and control all of our content.  (Of course, they’re mining it all now anyhow for product placement but at least they aren’t editing us, too.)

The thing which really fries my brain cells about SOPA is that it’s ri-donk-culous on two big issues. In the US, the MPAA, and RIAA already have laws in place to request that infringing material be taken down. Hello, we’ve all seen enough “video removed” messages to know that it works just fine.  Why do we need more redundant laws?  Then there are the pirates that this law is actually supposed to be aimed at.  I hate to compliment the bad guys in this story but it seems to me they’ve done a pretty good job avoiding everything the movie studios and other media content owners have thrown at them.  Do you think they are even worried about this latest proposed piece of paper?

Still confused?  Undecided?  So far, in my humble opinion, this is the best video  (yeah, click there) explaining what SOPA and PIPA are and how they will affect life as we know it.  It does a very good job of breaking down the proposed legislation and its practical applications and effects.  Believe me, I didn’t even list them all.  The whole security implications have me bamboozled so I left those out.  That doesn’t mean they don’t scare me.

The unintended reality of this bill’s passage would a stifling of cultural communication, technological innovation and intellectual expression.  I know the Internet communities were a little tickled with yesterday’s results and I agree, go team!  However, if you look at who is for this bill:  Motion Picture Association, Recording Association, all the pharmaceuticals, the U.S. chamber of Commerce and just about every media player you can think of.  AND then you look at who is against it: American Library Association, Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, FB, all online bloggers, Mozilla, Wikipedia and so many others.  On both sides are ranged huge amounts of money, talent and human power.  This isn’t over.  We have until the vote on January 24th to make our voices heard.  You want to count?  Speak the heck up!  And by speak up I mean email or call your U.S. House of Representative or your U.S. Senator.  Do it everyday.  I like my Internet the way it is, thank you very much.

And that’s my two cents.

Life after SOPA

When was the last time you ate any of these? Yep, me, too. That's why the Chapter Eleven Extravaganza.

I can’t help being a little bit sad for Hostess and for us.  Those products do represent something pure and fun from my childhood, despite the now mythical shelf life of these little cakes, pies and donuts.  They sold their confectionary souls for that shelf life, systematically replacing every fresh, recognizable ingredient for something processed and artificial. These goodies were the ultimate treat, the thing that absolutely, totally would ruin your dinner and we tore into them, we couldn’t help ourselves.

Then, there were the mascots.  Boy, oh boy, what a dorky, loveable bunch!  There was Twinkie the Kid, obviously an attempt at a super cool would-be bronk bustin’ stud of a sponge cake facsimile.  Then there was Happy HoHo who looked sort of like a black, cake version of Errol Flynn sans the mustache. Next was Captain Cupcake, who frankly owes the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island a LOT of royalties (Interestingly, he does sport a ‘stache.)  Who could forget Fruit Pie the Magician?  Of course, the “fruit” quotient is debatable, but the name remains the same.

From left to right: Captain Cupcake, Twinkie the Kid, Happy HoHo (I swear- why would I make this up???) and Fruit Pie the Magician

And how can one have a fictional world of walking, talking desserts without a leader?  Meet King Ding Dong, again, I promise I did not make this up.  (Who was on the naming committee anyway?)

Next, allow me to introduce you to Chauncey the Choco-dile.  Sorry for the image quality but there are fewer pics of him available.  By the way, a Choco-dile is actually a chocolate covered Twinkie.  I did not know that.

So few occasions to use the name, "Chauncey", really.

Does anyone else suddenly feel like it’s Saturday morning and we should be watching the Justice League battle the nefarious Legion of Doom?

There was one character that I was unable find an image of, even in these days of the wonderful internet, and that is Soul Bro, a black version of Twinkie the Kid.  I’m unclear as to whether he was chocolate covered (thus effectively making him a Choco-dile) or dark cake or simply a cartoon character colored brown.  I’m not sure how effective Hostess’ foray into racial diversification of their mascots was.  Notice, though, no girls.  Not positive I can muster any indignation over that oversight either.

It has been years since I have indulged in a Hostess dessert goodie.  I used to love their chocolate cupcakes with the cream like substance in the middle.  My all-time favorite guilty pleasure in college were the glazed turnovers filled with a chocolate-ish, pudding-ish, yummy material.  (I now know better than to think that there is any actual cream or real pudding in the center of Hostess products, but it sure tasted good at the time.)  My flirtation with Hostess was brief.  You see, as a child my mom usually refused to buy these longed-for products, no matter how my sister and I begged.  Basically, the only time we had them was when we went to someone else’s house.  Although, I seem to recall my dad sneaking a few here and there.  Then in college I did the shopping and would sometimes indulge.  Once I graduated and became a “grown-up” with an adult’s slower metabolism, well, I soon realized that Twinkies were just not going to work, not if I wanted to fit in my jeans.

Hostess also makes Wonder Bread, another item my mother would not purchase.  We always had wheat bread, sometimes sour dough.  My kids beg for white bread but I’ve never bought it. (See Mom, I paid attention.) To me it’s pretty tasteless stuff but I guess for kids it’s like crack.

I find it odd that we seem to be living in an age of polarities.  Take, for instance, the gulf between The Republican and The Democratic Political Parties, the growing disparity between the Have’s and the Have-not’s and the shrinking size of the typical fashion model versus the widening waistlines of many Americans.  I guess another polarity would be me getting a tad sentimental over a dessert I rarely had.  I guess I just always thought they’d be there, one of those cultural consistencies like Oreos, marshmallow fluff and bologna, none of which I eat. After all, they are a part of our shared cultural experience.  Who remembers The Twinkie Diet?  And where would the legal world be without The Twinkie Defense?  How about that fine culinary creation, The Deep Fried Twinkie? (Not as good as Deep Fried Butter, but then what could be?) Ugh, I think I just threw up a little bit.

Actually, it strikes me one would have thought that Hostess would have been all right, I mean what with those ever-expanding waistlines, but the company says competition from Entemann’s and Little Debbie is hurting them.  The eighty-two year old company also has more than 19,000 workers of whom about 95% are unionized.  Hostess says the pension plan is contributing to their inability to restructure their debts.  (Sorry guys, no sympathy from me here, you make promises, you plan accordingly and you keep them.) We’re left to wonder will the Twinkie go the way of the rotary phone, the Walkman and the video store?

Personally, I’m rooting for Hostess Brands.  They’re an American company and 19,000+ is an awful lot of families depending on Hostess.  Besides, some day, when I am an old lady and I wear purple, speak my mind and dance how I want whether any one is watching or not maybe I’ll want one of those pies I used to love.

Then again, I do all that now, so maybe I’ll want one sooner.

Hostess wishes to reassure America that as they attempt to climb out of this hole they’ve dug for themselves your supply of Twinkies will be uninterrupted.  Heck, you might even want to stock up… after all… we know they’ll keep.

A World Without Twinkies?