Yes, oh ye of little faith, it is still Monday…

One drawback, one very lamentable, but natural drawback by being blessed with having so many wonderful people in one’s life is that one’s exposure to pain is correspondingly magnified.  Each new person is another story, another journey and one is a fool if one thinks that any road will not entail suffering.

A dear friend of mine is watching the long good-bye of someone she loves very much.  Although in this case, the long good-bye is short indeed.  Two months from diagnosis to saying imminent good-byes.  Last year when I was watching Cara, Steve and Mark cast their shadows in a final appearance, I at least had more time for a coming to terms, a settling of emotional accounts.

The anguish of a final farewell cannot be understated.  One is left with an inescapable quandary: what can we actually do for the people that we love?

Meals? Childcare? Listening? Being there?  Prayers? Yes, to all these things I say yes, but in the grand scheme of things, how puny and futile do these efforts appear?   Can we express on this plane all the love that we feel inside?  Do they even know?

These questions can threaten to overwhelm, stealing our life’s emotional blood away.  I think, for I do not know, but I think that the answer lies in laughter.  As always, it’s laugh or cry, folks, laugh or cry.  I hope that the silly things I do and say, help bring a smile to my friend who is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.  Perhaps, in the giggles, the love will come through.

I have faith that should I cast my final shadow tomorrow there will be enough silliness left behind to comfort my friends.  Memories of bacon cravings, dating far too many men named “Kevin” for one lifetime, and bad hair choices will surely help them smile when I’m gone.  For my family, I hope that my innate silly goofiness would help- the way my laugh is like a wood chuck’s (don’t ask), my propensity to head bang and my love of dorky things would help keep me alive in their memories and that over time I would leave them with a smile, rather than tears.

IF I could do that, it would be a gift for my dear ones indeed.

Perhaps a year ago, I walked past my son’s room as he was giving it a badly (and I cannot stress how badly) needed cleaning.  He had some music playing and he was singing along.  David, unlike his mother, was in tune.  My son was singing along to my beloved Ronnie James Dio fronting Black Sabbath and I remember thinking, “Ah, perhaps some of the love got through.”

Remember, “the world is full of Kings and Queens, who’ll blind your eyes, then steal your dreams.”  So open your eyes, chase your dreams and be ready for the love and the laughter.  What else is there of importance?  We just hope that the love shines through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUJH7y1yK_E

Sing me a song, you’re a singer
Do me a wrong, you’re a bringer of evil
The Devil is never a maker
The less that you give, you’re a taker
So it’s on and on and on
…it’s Heaven and Hell, oh well

The lover of life’s not a sinner
The ending is just a beginner
The closer you get to the meaning
The sooner you’ll know that you’re dreaming
So it’s on and on and on
Oh it’s on and on and on
It goes on and on and on, Heaven and Hell
I can tell, fool, fool!

Well, if it seems to be real, it’s illusion
For every moment of truth, there’s confusion in life
Love can be seen as the answer
But nobody bleeds for the dancer
And it’s on and on, on and on and on….

They say that life’s a carousel
Spinning fast, you’ve got to ride it well
The world is full of Kings and Queens
Who blind your eyes then steal your dreams
…it’s Heaven and Hell, oh well

And they’ll tell you black is really white
The moon is just the sun at night
And when you walk in golden halls
You get to keep the gold that falls
It’s Heaven and Hell

No no fool, fool!
You got to bleed for the dancer!
Fool, fool, look for the answer!
Fool, fool, fool!

Because so often geeky love and joy triumph over anything else.

Because so often geeky love and joy triumph over anything else.

This post was written by Erika Gardner.  If you enjoyed it, please sign up to receive updates on this blog.  Or you can follow Erika on Twitter @Erika_Gardner or “Like” her Facebook page Erika Gardner- Writer and Storyteller.

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