Well, it’s been five days since DOMA was struck down and I am still married. Quite happily, if I’m allowed to be honest.  We’re defending our marriage just fine on our own, thank you very much.

Although, the fact that I hate getting up early could be a deal breaker.  That’s it!  My love of sleeping in is a gay conspiracy!  It’s not my fault, honey!  It’s the gays!

And I talk too much- that’s got to be the gays, all social and bubbly, right?

Wait, I am all about the strong, intelligent woman- clearly a lesbian doctrine.  Maybe I was kidnapped in college?  Brainwashed? Yeah, that’s it, because I don’t have a flipping brain in my head, cannot formulate a single opinion, life plan or passion without some outside influence pushing their agenda on me.  That’s why my marriage needs a law “defending” it.

Traditionally even, I think.

Although, those spouting their advocacy of “traditional marriage” who point to a version of marriage as defined in the Bible have never actually specified as to which version of marriage they are defending.

Point of fact: the Bible does not give details on marriage i.e., the format of the ceremony, what constitutes a legal marriage, the vows, and who can officiate.

I have in past posts, gone on at length as to the many versions (and perversions) of marriage that are mentioned in Biblical stories, but I’m not going to do that today.  The very fact that opponents of gay marriage turn to the Bible for fodder in their dialog of hate merely proves my essential point which is:  a legal gay marriage is a civil matter and it is completely separate from religion.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

If you believe your God does not want gays married- then in your church, don’t allow it.  In my opinion, you’d be wrong, but hey, it’s your church.  However, a civil matter is something else.  In our nation, our secular community, the conferring of certain rights and privileges upon a couple, is not simply because of a ceremony that they went through, but because of what the commitment to speak those words means in the eyes of our society.  It is a legal matter, not just a spiritual one.

It’s been five days and I am still married.  Screw traditional- I am married: body, heart, mind and soul.  I love my husband and there is no church on earth that could pray that away, that could “cure” me, or erase my love.  How dare anyone else think that they could “pray the gay” away?  Isn’t that playing God more than anything that a court of nine judges could do?

Equal just means equal

Equal just means equal

People who find someone to love for all of their days in this life are blessed.  They should be able to stand up and have their communities celebrate their unions.  They should be able to dance and sing, have families and mourn their losses.  They should, in short, be allowed to live.  It is the ultimate expression of the words, “the pursuit of happiness.”

It’s been five days and I am still married.

This week’s song is Same Love by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, featuring Mary Lambert.  They say what I wish I could say so much more than this little blog, but I hope you all get my drift.  This is lovely- please watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

Love is love and love is good.  To paraphrase a famous passage, love is gentle, love is patient… it does not delight in evil, but delights in the truth.

The truth is, the Defense of Marriage Act was struck down five days ago and I am still married.

SF City Hall, by David Yu photography

SF City Hall, by David Yu photography

For one of the funniest, but maybe if you are a conservative, the scariest, videos to pop up since the ruling is this spoof featuring Brad Pitt, World War G.  Enjoy:

http://blog.sfgate.com/hottopics/2013/07/01/spoof-video-heterosexuality-ends-in-90-days/

Here are the lyrics to this beautiful expression of truth, love and how far we still have to go as a society.

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,
‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k, trippin’ “
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ’em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it

(I don’t know)

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ’round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I try
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

This post was written by Erika Gardner.  If you enjoyed it, please sign up to receive updates on this blog.  Or you can follow Erika on Twitter @Erika_Gardner or “Like” her Facebook page Erika Gardner- Writer and Storyteller.  Check out her contributions to the BBB Blog.

Advertisements