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Sometimes our partners in life do and say the most amazing, perfect things. Things we can hold on to, treasure, and weave into the fabric of our lives. Touchstones that sustain us. Sometimes our partners are perfect.
Don’t worry, honey, I’m not expecting it on a daily basis. But it sure helps.
This week’s song is by Jackson Browne.
Have a great week, my lovelies. Hug your darlings.
This post was written by Erika Gardner. She’s a native Californian, lifelong lover of fantastical adventures, and a dedicated Whovian. If you enjoyed it, please sign up to receive updates on www.erikagardner.com Or you can follow Erika on Twitter @Erika_Gardner, “Like” her Facebook page Erika Gardner- Writer and Storyteller.Or check out her contributions to the BBB Blog. Erika’s debut novel, The Dragon in The Garden can be found at Tirgearr Publishing.
This week’s song might not make a lot of sense at first, but bear with me… yes, I KNOW it’s NOT Monday.
Over our kids’ Winter Break we visited Maui. We had a great time, but I have to admit… it’s getting harder to keep the kids’ attention. They are almost 18, almost 16, and almost 14. The siren songs of their peers, social media, and online video games call to them. You’d think that an island paradise with beautiful beaches, fabulous restaurants, amazing activities, and parents willing to spend money would at least TEMPT them, but not always.
Imagine my surprise when one of the best moments of the trip came as we were stuck in traffic south of Lahaina, trying to return to the Kaanapali Beach and our resort. Because we clearly weren’t going anywhere fast, we put David (our oldest) in charge of the radio. He treated us to some of his playlists.
My husband and I exchanged shocked glances when he busted out some favorites from the Disney Days… and not only did David and I sing, but his sisters and dad joined in– all of us singing at full voice. Words I didn’t even remember that I knew. Dorks. Happy dorks. A return to the days of cartoons, legos, crayons, and play-doh. Good times.
So for a little while in the traffic on Maui I had my babies back again- all of us, singing, badly, off key, but happy. A great vacation moment.
Here is the Colors of the Wind from the cartoon, Pocahontas. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
Here we are on top of the world… dorky but happy! May all your vacations be as joyous!
This post was written by Erika Gardner. She’s a native Californian, lifelong lover of fantastical adventures, and a dedicated Whovian. If you enjoyed it, please sign up to receive updates on www.erikagardner.com Or you can follow Erika on Twitter @Erika_Gardner, “Like” her Facebook page Erika Gardner- Writer and Storyteller.Or check out her contributions to the BBB Blog.
This week’s song is No More Drama by Mary J. Bilge. Not metal, certainly, but an emotion laden, passionate song and I dig passion. Thankfully my day-to-day life contains little drama. As I’ve gotten older I find I have less and less time for it and for those individuals who flock to it—moths to its alluring but exhausting flame. There is too much I wish to do and too many people I’d love to spend my spare time with, time that I find more and more precious as the years slide by.
Years sliding by… that’s an excellent start to a central theme to this week’s post. Midlife crisis. When I was younger the words seemed a bit of a joke. Such a cliché, laden with images of men and women’s thickening middles and thinning hair. The specter of eyes losing their sparkle, and clothing just a bit out of step with the current trends. It brings echoes of ridiculous red sports cars and paramours far too young to be on the arm of their aging suitor… this dynamic applies equally to men and women these days. See, ladies, we’re breaking that glass ceiling bit by bit, even the gross parts.
I’m an optimist so I’m convinced I’m just hitting my midpoint, perhaps not even there yet. *big cheesy grin* This means I’m due to live to ninety-four, but hey, let’s go big, centurion style. You’re all invited to my 100th birthday party. Regardless, if I haven’t past the midpoint then I can see it. What’s more, the people around me can see it, too. A whole generation of crazy kids who can’t shake the feeling that somehow time has almost caught them. Though not old, there is a shared sense that we won’t be young forever.
Most of us are still attractive, we can catch someone’s eye. We feel good. In large part, we are healthy. Yet, looming in the back of our minds is an ugly thought: for how much longer? These are the years when a person needs to seriously take stock of their life. Are we ready for retirement? Have we chosen our friends wisely? Our careers? Our spouses? If there’s a dream to be fulfilled then are we truly chasing it? Or has it slipped beyond our grasp?
At the end of the day these all blend into the one big quandary… If in fact our days are finite then how do we want to spend the time allotted to us?
That’s where the song comes into play. (See how I circled back?) One of the decisions that has the biggest impact on anyone’s potential for happiness is who to spend that time with. For many that decision involves a partner, a spouse. I am both lucky and unlucky in that regard. I married an adorable, loving, hard-working man whom I’m crazy about. When we’re together it’s good, very good. Problem is, he is that hard-working guy and he takes his role as provider very seriously. Translation? He travels… a lot. So, that’s rough. I’m white-knuckling it until I can go with him or his circumstances change (ie retirement).
But I know I picked a good guy.
I’m watching very dear friends wrestle with their home situations. Some have already made the leap, while for others it’s only a matter of time. You can hear it in their voices, grieving for the death of a marriage they don’t even realize they’re leaving yet. In almost every single instance, I’m convinced it’s the right choice for both partners. The drama, the continual bad news, the sadness that permeates these households is not good. Not for the spouses, not for the kids, not even for the pets. Marriage is work. It is commitment. It is compromise and sacrifice. But not this much sacrifice. Not this much ugliness. Not you and your spouse bringing out the very worst in one another. The road from point A to point B is long and will suck, but I hope it leads to happier times. And there’s that word again. Time.
Time is short and precious. Our days are numbered whether we recognize the fact or not. Make them good days. No more drama, no more pain. Sing it, Mary.
So you’re having a mid-life crisis? Good for you! I hope you are finding a way to make your life worthwhile, a road to happiness for yourself and for those near and dear to you.
Lyrics to No More Drama by Mary J. Blige
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I’m so tired, so tired
Another lesson learn
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burn
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I’ll be fine
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No one’s gonna make me hurt again
Go through ups and downs
Nowhere and all the time
You wouldn’t be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But there was long ago
I don’t wanna cry no more
No more game (no more game messin with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No one’s gonna make me hurt again
No more tears (no more tears, I’m tired of cryin’ every night)